Being pretentious...

To be honest, I am naturally always on the boarder of being a complete asshole. I can literally feel the urge to be a dick bubbling under my skin at all times. This makes me a prime candidate for becoming a pretentious twat about traveling. But despite how easy it is to get sucked into this, you must do everything possible to resist, and here's why:

1. Traveling is a hobby. Do you know anyone with a sticker collection? No probably not because they probably don't talk about it, because it's a stupid hobby. You know what else is a hobby? Traveling. In fact all you're doing when your traveling is killing time, much like your friend Robert who collects stickers. Since he isn't buying billboard space to brag about it, you shouldn't either.

2. Traveling is a luxury, aka it costs a lot of money, so while you are telling everyone about that fabulous Grecian resort you stayed in there are children starving to death in less luxurious places, you careless asshole.

3. Oh my god, you know that funny story about that time on that train going to that place? Yay! super funny, to you and you only. Bragging about it doesn't make anyone think you are cool and funny, it only makes you think you are cooler and funnier than you actually are.

4. Did you see "Eat, Pray, Love?" How awful was that? That is what happens when travelers become pretentious. Gag!

5. You run the risk of hearing all about their super fun trip to Disneyworld. You had a handcrafted beer in Germany? Well thats nothing to the 50 different beers they had at the Epcot center!!! And guess who the bartender was? That's right! Mickey Mouse, dressed up as an authentic German! Boy was it wild! Come inside and I'll show you the slideshow we made!

Exactly, the only other people who love to talk about their travels as much as you are people who own a timeshare in Orlando.