5. Las Vegas/Grand Canyon. When I was just a little gremlin (around 4) my parents thought it would be a good idea to drive us to the Grand Canyon. For those of you who are not up on your geography, the distance between New York to the Grand Canyon is huge, like 3 day drive huge. This was one of the least appropriate trips I have ever been on. Being 4, I obviously didn't appreciate the majestic beauty of the canyon, and I certainly didn't appreciate the humble opulence of Las Vegas when we stayed there the following two nights. I went to see a magic show both nights and then I saw the magician walking around the hotel, I specifically remember feeling so hurt that the magician didn't remember me after I had been so loyal, to this day I think that is why I am emotionally guarded. All in all, I just remember being really hot, passing out in the pool, and being very confused why everything was so dusty.
4. Florida. Being from upstate New York we used to make our yearly pilgrimage to Florida. To this day, the idea of Florida makes me cringe. We used to drive, which meant the obligatory stop at South of the Border and the stay in gross highway motels. It was fun the first few times (The alligator farm is intense) but after a while we realized that we just weren't really "florida people." I'd rather stab myself in the eye while listening to Lady Gaga's opinion on politics than go to Disney world.
3. Atlantic City. Ok I actually like Atlantic city but there is a very good reason that I am including this on the list. It was when I was around 7, and we headed down to Atlantic City as per usual. My mom was running around doing something so my Dad took us to the beach. Now a little about my Dad, he is always paranoid that my sister and I will die at any second (we aren't even allowed to talk loudly by the stairs), so as you can imagine the ocean terrified him. Before my sister and I could even step into the water he told us about rip tides, the sudden drop of the shelf, jellyfish, sharks, and crabs. Being 7, it was another 5 years before I would even walk near a large body of water.
2. Traverse City Michigan. My Dad is from Michigan which pretty much means that if Michigan were to leave the Union, we'd have to be on the front lines defending it's sovereignty. One time we decided to visit some family friends in Michigan which meant a 12 hour drive down nostalgia lane straight to the 1950's. Now I don't know how much anyone knows about Flint Michigan, but essentially it used to be a big deal and now it's in decay. While a tour down memory lane can be nice, it can be a little depressing when every other business is a strip club or a KFC.
1. The Cruise. I fully and completely take the blame for this one. When I was 12 I was sure that we were "cruise people." I had watched roughly a million shows about cruises on the travel channel and convinced my parents that we would have the time of our lives! Well the thing about cruises is:
1. you have to mingle with strangers
2. your room is really small
3. you have to pay for soda
4. you get cabin fever
5. you get sea sick
Us Dennison's need space. We don't really like new people, or old people for that matter (hence the reason I don't even know what my cousins look like) and we certainly don't like paying $5 for a soda.
I am not sure what kind of people like cruises, but I think they may be related to that rare breed that likes bus tours and paying too much for awkward/forced social interaction. I mean sure, the Bahamas were beautiful but we could have flown/stayed there cheaper without the damn boat. At the end of the day it was so bad we all had to laugh, but that was our last family vacation ever.
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