We need to talk about....

Eurotrip. This movie is just OK (Let's be real, the best thing about it is the song). Everytime you go abroad you will meet at least one person who has decided Eurotrip is a travel bible. Granted, I liked the movie. It is enjoyable in the same way American Pie 2 is enjoyable, but that does not mean one should base part of their life trying to recreate it.

That being said, it is a great way to determine whether or a not a person will be "cool" when traveling. If the person in question says she/he hopes to recreate this movie, quotes this movie, or makes any reference to this movie more than once, they are best to be avoided. (i.e. "Yea bro I hope our Eurotrip is as crazy as the movie).

Two case studies that prove my theory:

Case study 1. One kid I know wouldn't shut up about this movie and ended up having a miserable time, because weirdly enough he didn't meet a hot German girl who wanted to blow him in the Vatican. When asked about his trip he literally said, "well it wasn't as good as the movie." As you can imagine, he was a blast.

Case study 2. One kid I spoke to decided to backpack solely because of this movie. He spent his entire first day of his trip at the London Aquarium. I question whether or not he understood the subtle humor of this film.

Ok so now that you can use Eurotrip to gage whether or not a person is dope, here are a few reasons why you don't actually want your "eurotrip" to be be like the movie:

1. They spent the whole day trying to find a nude beach just to discover is was full of old french men. Who then literally chase them down the beach with all their bits n' bobs hanging out.

2. The "wacky dumb one" literally pays to get anally raped by male prostitutes.

3. I don't care how fucked up you are, why would you want to make-out with your twin sister (unless you're on Hugh Hefner's payroll). That's called incest.

4. They get robbed.

5. They only spend 1 day in London.

6. They don't even go to Spain, Switzerland, Austria, Scotland, Ireland, or Prague.

7. When they're in Paris, they spend the entire day waiting in line at the Louvre. I didn't even have to wait in line.

8. One poor bastard gets raped on the train by that weird Italian man.

9. They don't even smoke pot, or have hash brownies in Amsterdam, and isn't that really the entire point?

10. THEY DON'T EVEN EAT PIZZA IN ITALY!!

I mean, to each their own, but that sounds like the worst trip ever to me.