The legend of Lilith

Ever hear of Lilith?

I hadn't either, partly because I'm not Jewish, and partly because I spend more time reading Chelsea Handler than I do reading the classics or umm the Old Testament.

Anyway, I was in class on Tuesday when I first heard all about Lilith. She is now my new idol and I will pray to her every night from this day forward. The original feminist, rockstar, and spicegirl. So let me try and break it down for you:

Back when God was creating the world and it's people he decided that he needed some colorful characters to entertain him. He was just going to make a dude, but then he decided that just one boy would be super lame so he decided to make a chick too. Now originally he made both of these humans out of the newly created Earth. A man named Adam, and a woman named Lilith.

Now who is Lilith? She was Adam's first wife, and let me tell you, she was a total bombshell. Everything was fine, But when Adam and God wanted her to get down on her knees (because hello? she was a girl) Lilith was not having any of this, and she said to God and Adam "I'm made out of Earth, just like homeboy over there, we are equals... so pop off."

Annoyed that the beautiful Lilith was also super tough and didn't take any shit, God and Adam banished her and made her into a demon. A demon that allegedly ate children. Can you say, bad break-up?

Totally peeved that Lilith wouldn't submit, the spoiled Adam demanded a new lady love, one that knew her place and wouldn't cause any trouble. Eager to please his biggest fan, God created Eve out of Adam's rib, that way she would know that she was less than her male counterpart. She was beautiful and maternal, but she still had a bad streak. And thats when that whole apple debacle happened.

So what's the moral of the story? There are two kinds of women in this world...Lilith's and Eves. One doesn't take shit, and one creates it.