If you read Vice Magazine, Street Carnage, or party in Brooklyn you know exactly what the term normal implies. It means the typical person, frat/jock/cheerleader who wears Reboks and will end up married in the suburbs working a 9/5. A commoner, a conformist. It is the ultimate insult for those under 30.
I know a fair amount of hipsters, I also know a fair amount of guidos, jocks, rich kids, and gasp even goths, and within those categories I know normies and abnormies. i.e. there is nothing normal about my homegirl Jwoww or my boy Pauly. But there is something very, very normal about lady gaga and it makes me gag.
Ask either my sister or myself what it takes to be a kook and we won't say "well traveled, likes to read, in to politics, or art"....no that can just as easily be normy shit, we simply say "do they get it?" Now if you are reading this and that last statement just made sense, congratulations, you are my soulmate and you should probably give me a call.
So what do you do when you see a boy/girl reading a Charles Bukowski novel in a hidden coffee shop on their mac book? Proceed with caution. They may look really deep and intense but the truth is that being deep means nothing, because there is no such thing as shallow or deep, just varying degrees of ordinary and Honey, that image I created was way too ordinary.
So don't be daunted with the whole finding a weirdo in the haystack scenario, here are other sure fire ways to find out if someone is just pretending to be an anti-normy:
10. They talk about politics over dinner. They are just trying to start shit. People who actually read about politics and know whats going on know that it is an inappropriate dinner conversation. They also don't post about it on facebook to give the appearance of being informed. Posting an article about Palestine right after you post that picture of you shotgunning PBR isn't edgy or abnormal anymore, it's just usual.
9. They talk about the amount of pills they're on. Taking medicine that you actually need is totally cool, but there is nothing worse than listening to some college punk go on for hours about their xanex prescription. I know people who need pills, and they don't talk about it.
8. Pretending you're a scholar. Look I'm proud of my college. It served me well and I had a blast. I learned a lot, I grew up a lot, I did a lot, but I'm well aware of the fact that I did not go to an Ivy or MIT so I'm not a "scholar." People of my generation, we're all in the same boat, that expensive little degree that's hanging up in your parents den is essentially worthless.
7. Saying that music is their life. I love music, but so does the rest of the world. It's only your life if it pays the bills.
6. Saying you lived in Europe when you just studied abroad. You better have stayed there for over a year before you drop the word "live." There is nothing worse then a pretentious kid who says they lived abroad, when they went on a university run program. Hell, I don't even say I lived in Cortland and I spent 4 years there.
5. They say they know a lot about wine. I have a neighbor who is going to an Ivy to study wine and wine making. He can say he knows about wine. Drinking a lot of it doesn't mean jack, and I should know. Although I have to say, Franzia does have a lovely floral accent with a citrus finish.
4. Pointing out your quirks to others. Telling everybody that you sit in a dark room or that you're really neurotic is not quirky. If you are truly abnormal people will pick up on this. I mean just look at Charlie Sheen. He didn't even have to say he was a bitching rockstar from Mars, his aura just radiated this vibe on its own.
3. Doing lots of drugs. No I don't think cocaine is edgy, I don't think dropping X is different, it's expensive and it gives you really, really bad taste in music.
2. Wearing weird clothes. Wow, you're wearing a hat with lots of feathers on it, you are so weird. Or you are going to a Baptist church in downtown Rochester.
1. Vegans. Never trust a vegan.
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