Some scary sh!t

I was going through my catalogs of blogs/twitters this morning and it was the usual stuff, white girl problems, drug articles, love blogs blah blah blah but then I stumbled upon an article about why clowns are scary and I agreed with every single word. Clowns are universally terrifying. It's just unfortunate that my bffaeaaeaeaea is actually a professional clown. Well anyway, clowns aren't the only things that go bump in the night, there are quite a few and here they are:

10. Clowns. We'll start off here because I just rambled on and on about it. Clowns are scary because you can't see their faces which means you don't know what they're thinking, or when they are lying, or if they are plotting to kill you. They are also scary because we know that comedians and funny people usually have the darkest souls. Long story short, clowns are the worst, just ask Stephen King.

9. People who don't make eye contact. I never understood the point of eye contact until I was 18. I literally didn't get what the big deal was, that was until I met someone who also never made eye contact and I realized how crazy it makes you look. People who don't make eye contact look like sociopaths/psychopaths and all other types of paths. Avoiding eye contact means you are stuck in your head and when you're stuck in your head you're probably up to no good.

8. Gangs. Gangs are scary because sometimes they will try to stab you to get initiated and that is super scary.

7. Crazy religious people. When someone crosses the line from believer to lunatic it is terrifying. They tend to blow up planes or abortion clinics and this just doesn't sit well with me which is just a small reason why I tend to avoid both.

6. Train tracks. Train tracks are scary because when you are looking at them you always wonder what would happen if you fell in, or jumped in, or got pushed in. Train tracks are like a little death tease and sometimes they make you feel crazy or suicidal. It's when you're looking at them that you see how close to the edge you really are.

5. Drug addicts. Drug addicts are so scary because they are often out of their minds and desperate. I've seen coked out sorority girls who are just as scary as a common junky on the street. I mean, how scary is Lindsay Lohan?! Moral of the story is, if you don't want to make people cross the street when they see you, stay clean.

4. Guys on steroids. They are like junkies except they have bigger muscles and travel in packs.

3. Ghosts. Ghosts are scary because you don't know if they are real or not. For all you know there are 25 dead people watching you at this very minute and being watched is terrifying. There is a reason that people say the unknown creates fear, it's because it's true!

2. Aliens. I pray to god I never see an alien. Ed note: the mars kind not the immigrant kind.

1. Loud noises.