Being a Kook

Well this post will have nothing to do with traveling but I have to post something so that I can continue to appeal to my fan base (mom, dad, erin). That being said I must say being the "kooky" one will get you very far in life. I mean come on, theres a reason celebrities are starting to dress from hipsters now a days and why anyone thinks Lady Gaga is relevant. Being weird is so in and it'll get you a lot of cool weirdo friends, and everyone knows weirdo friends are the best friends a human could have.

Fortunately for me, I was born less normal than most aka I didn't really get the point of other people until I turned 18 which incidentally also happened to be the same time I discovered alcohol, so I got to hone my weirdo skills at a very young age. But even if you were completely socially successful in high school there is still hope for you to become "the loopy one."

1. Get a really dumb tattoo. Now I don't mean dumb as in a tattoo that says "love is everything" or "dance like no one is watching." These tattoos are dumb in a bad way, the same way 12 year old girls are dumb. No I mean get a dumb tattoo like just the letter "i" for no apparent reason. That way when someone asks you about it you can be all "what's the big deal" and mysterious about it. People like that and will instantly be intrigued.

2. Wear all black. Lady Gaga pretends she's a weirdo by wearing ridiculous outfits made out of cold cuts and sequins. A true oddball doesn't actually want people to look at them so wear all black and avoid eye contact. Pretty soon everyone at the party will be asking "who is that freak in the corner?"

3. Read, or at least pretend to. I read a lot, but most of the books I read are really dumb and immature not deep and meaningful. That is why every now and then I read a good, deep, book so that I can throw a title out there all nonchalant. American Psycho is a good one because not only is a it a good book, it is the most fucked up book I have ever read. It's much cooler than if you throw out a Hemingway because no one reads that shit besides Freshman English majors.

4. Do something creative. I get to be a writer when I grow up so already I have weirdo cred. Even if your chosen career field is accounting, you can still take up an artistic or creative hobby that will impress everyone at the party. If you can't draw or paint, say you write poetry, because most likely everyone will be impressed but no one will want to hear it. Thats what I call a win-win.

5. Kids. Kids are really weird, every single one of them is odd. Thats why if you take a walk down memory lane you can probably find several examples of you being a weirdo. For instance, My sister went through a phase where she wore all black and and became an insomniac. I myself went through a phase where I was literally obsessed with China and would only go to sleep wearing silk pajamas. Throw these stories out in casual conversation and people will be all "wtf!" and that is exactly what you want.

6. Do weird things and then not explain them. This is a biggie because you can always tell when someone is being fake weird because they need a pat on the back each time they step outside of the social norm. "Hey guys! did you just see how I put sugar on my cheeseburger! weird right!?"

Don't do that, if you do something weird, never mention it, thats the true key.

7. Go to shows. Weirdo's love music and go to shows and then they talk about the shows to other people who go to shows. Or gigs if you prefer.

8. Disappear for a few days and don't tell anyone. I mean tell like your family so that no one calls the police, but just hide out and have some "you" time. Weirdo's are really in to self-reflection.

9. Develop a strong emotional attachment to an animal or pet. This is a really weird behavior because it is reminiscent of actual crazy people. People who are insane always have a cat/dog/bird/doll that they develop feelings towards and talk to because they have shunned society (or did society shun them?) I mean you don't want to be actually insane, you just want to be a very diluted version of this.

10. Last but not least, don't tell anyone about you ex-boyfriend who is a jock, that you cried during The Notebook, or that you have read all the Twilight books. These are dead give-aways that you're a normy in weirdo clothing. Or actually do tell them to throw them off and get everyone confused.

"Child of woe is wane and delicate...sensitive and on the quiet side, she loves the picnics and outings to the underground caverns...a solemn child, prim in dress and, on the whole, pretty lost...secretive and imaginitive, poetic, seems underprivileged and given to occasional tantrums...has six toes on one foot.." Charles Adams