5. The first time my mother said "cunt" in front of me. Obviously the "c" word is practically banned from in the U.S. It is the ultimate bad word, the one that should only be brought out in extreme circumstances, or at least that was always what I believed. Then one day, about 3 years ago, my mom and I were taking a walk and she said "cunt." Totally normal. That's when I realized that not only did grown-ups use bad words, but that bad words really didn't exist. It was my last Santa-Claus-esq myth shattered.
4. Guys will hit you. Growing up, you are always under the illusion that boys would never hit girls. That domestic violence only existed in Lifetime movies and in trailer parks. That is until the day that you see one and you realize, oh shit this kid will hit me. This happened fairly recently, it was last year back in Cortland with some roided-out frat boy. He was standing there and then he tripped and fell flat on his face. Rule 1 about Frat boys on steroids, they are the most insecure people in the world, if you embarrass one, they will beat the shit out of you. Well it just so happened that he tripped because of my friend. His face turned bright red and he puffed out his chest like a pigeon. Then I realized fuck, he will deck her. We ran away and giggled.
3. When your little you also don't think crime really exists. It only happens on Avenue D in Rochester. That is until you get assaulted, robbed, mugged, or jumped, then it becomes real. Bad shit happens and my parents can't protect me forever. Thats when you buy pepper spray and start walking with your keys in your hand.
2. The first time you drink with your family and they don't make jokes about. My family still makes jokes about me drinking, but to be fair I only really have two settings, sober and drunk, so I am a pretty easy target. My parents literally would not let me drink in front of them until I was 21. They knew I drank, they would occasionally leave a bottle of Jameson out on the counter before I went to school, and they even say my facebook pictures, yet I still couldn't drink in front of them. I've been legal for a year now and the jokes have subsided, I am officially sitting at the grown-up table.
1. The ultimate sign that you've grown up. Dating. God dating is the worst. Going to dinner with someone you just met is super awkward. It makes you pine for the days when a date consisted of sitting in his smelly basement watching movies and sneaking schnapps. You would wear your best jeans, your lucky t-shirt and your chucks, and just go with the flow. Now you have to look presentable, do your hair, do your makeup and then sit through dinner wondering what is an appropriate first meal. Can I get fries on the side? should I go for a beer or will he think I'm too masculine? I understand why lame girls real Cosmo now.
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