10. your favorite hobby has to be looking in the mirror. If there is a mirror, a shiny surface, a calm body of water, you better be looking in it. This is a result of both self-obsessiveness and insecurity. Your entire life revolves around your hair, which means it needs constant monitoring. If it falls out of place, the world will literally be over and you will lose all of your friends. Oh my god, did you like see her hair today? It was suhhhhhh trashy.
9. You don't like your friends. When your a young girl, all of your friends are just as horrible as you, which means you don't really like them. You pick your friends based on what they wear and which lunch table they sit at. That's it, that is the extent of your common ground. You just pray to god that you can out bitch them, or else you're screwed.
8. Boys. Boys are everything. You're life revolves around your crush, a la Molly Ringwald. When he talks to you, you get high, and when he ignores you, you get so low that you quote shitty songs and cry. If they don't like you, it's because you're not pretty enough, which means you have to spend even more in time in front of the mirror getting mad at your hair.
7. You become obsessed with makeup. Finally you're allowed to wear makeup and so you have go overboard. You put your eyeliner on with a sharpie and pour glitter all over your face. Too much bronzer? check, too much blush? check. Now you look good. Ignore your mother's advice, what does she know?
6. You have to think you're cool. You are the coolest person in the world. You have figured out the meaning of life and adults don't know shit. They're just jealous because you're young and in love. That's why they try to oppress you, and that's why you have to rebel.
5. Sleepovers are essential. This is where you dish all your dirt, sneak alcohol, and be an overall badass. You find out that Becky went to third base with Tom and you talk shit about Jessica, yea she totally got fat over the summer.
4. Speaking of Jessica, if you want to be a teen, you've got to be a bitch. You fight with other bitches in the hall, and you make fun of people for the way they look. Sure it'll bite you in the ass eventually, but that's not really the point now is it. As soon as your one friend leaves the room, you better say something about her outfit. You know the movie Mean Girls? it's all true, and anyone who denies it, was probably the meanest.
3. Shop at Abercrombie, or Guess, social circle depending. If you're t-shirt doesn't say Fitch, you ain't shit.
2. Get a boyfriend. Finally you'll get the boyfriend, and you will be obsessed with him. You thought the amount of time you spent thinking about your crush was bad? That's nothing compared to your shiny new boyfriend. Hell, you don't even have to actually like him. But you have talk about your boyfriend 24/7, annoy everyone about your boyfriend, meet him in between classes, hold his hand, change your facebook status, bitch any girl out who talks to him and get so jealous that you ruin everything. And then when you break-up, cry, quote sad songs, stalk him, trash his name any chance you get, and hope, wish, and pray that he changes his mind and comes back to you.
1. Be overly dramatic. If you're parents ground you, it's the end of the world. If you weren't invited to the party, it's the end of the world. If the boy didn't text you back, it's the end of the world. No one has been through this before, and no one understands your pain. Listen to pop music and finally understand all of the lyrics. Taylor Swift is the only one who "gets you."
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