Modern womyn

Every girl should be a feminist and no, I don't mean that you can't shave your legs or think make-up is evil. Being a feminist just means you don't feel like getting raped, you believe in birth control, and you don't feel inferior to men. That is literally all it means, so don't go shaving your head and bitching about horrible, emotionally crippled men. Actually, we have probably been doing too much of this.

In fact we should be helping our brothers out, because it looks like they need it. According to a recent study:

Among pre-adults, women are the first sex. They graduate from college in greater numbers (among Americans ages 25 to 34, 34% of women now have a bachelor’s degree but just 27% of men), and they have higher GPAs. As most professors tell it, they also have more confidence and drive. These strengths carry women through their 20s, when they are more likely than men to be in grad school and making strides in the workplace. In a number of cities, they are even out-earning their brothers and boyfriends.

So women in their 20's are the new alpha males? When I first read this I was patting myself on the back and listening to Alanis Morsette. I mean we came a long way in only a hundred years. We should be proud! The people who once controlled us are now being controlled by us, oh wait one problem, how unattractive is that? I think we've just shot ourselves in the foot ladies...

I'm all for having a career, I'm all for making my own money, and I genuinely enjoy being on my own. I have a lovely little life and I see no reason to share it with some smelly boy until I decide to procreate. That being said, I really wish we hadn't emasculated men so much that they have literally started wearing tighter jeans than us, crying more than us, and being less ambitious than us. Pretty soon we will be the ones pulling out their chairs and giving them our jackets so that their delicate skin doesn't get too chilly.

It hasn't really been such a problem in England, these boys have incredible manners, but back in upstate New York where we have apparently bullied men into being girls, it was a major issue. I literally met men who were scared of bugs, men that didn't have a drop of ambition or a single passion, men that would cry, A LOT and I even met men that said vaginas were gross (and no they were not gay). They weren't even looking for a partner, but a new mother, one that would take care of them and make sure there were no monsters under their bed. Sexy.

Listen boys, we took back the night, and now maybe it's your turn to take back the testosterone? Maybe just a little bit? Get that job, go to school, and buy me dinner...if you do that, I promise to keep my hair long and smelling of flowers. Hey! I may even pop out a baby for you (like in 10 years).

It's not that we want to dim ourselves down just so boys can feel like big strong men again, but maybe we can just scoot over a little bit so that they can squeeze their way to the front row too? If we don't I'm afraid that they will be the ones dragging us to see the new Katherine Heigl movie and that is just not something I can handle.