Baddest bitches

The other day I did something I almost never do, I acted like a total chick. It was annoying and gross. Girls should never act like chicks, we should act like the real deal. We should be tough, bullshit free, and take what we want. After my brief dip into chickdom I had to refocus and regroup. I don't want to be a June Clever, I want to be a Jwoww. So here it is, the best bitches that ever lived.

10. Anne Boleyn. This girl turned her dreams into reality and rocked it hard. She changed the entire religion of a nation and basically controlled and manipulated the western world's most powerful man. Baby's got sauce. Sure she got beheaded, but she made an impact and got exactly what she wanted. Most men wouldn't have the tits to do that. You go girl. P.S. I'll totally visit your ghost later.

9. Jwoww. Jwoww beats anyone up who starts a fight, doesn't wear pants, and walks like a thug. Homegirl is a force in her own right and I have mad respect for her. She's even an awesome friend to that hot mess Snooki. It's a scientific fact that people who hate on Jwoww are boring.

8. Sarah Palin. I know I'm going to get shit for this one and yes she's a joke but guess what, she took being a mayor of a shit town in the shittiest state of the union and turned it into a multi-million dollar empire. Of course she is a character, but she knows it and any girl who can hustle that hard has my vote, but not literally.

7. Alexa Chung. She's just so damn cute she has to be on this list.

6. Wednesday Addams. Ok so she may have been fictional but still she needs to be on this list. She was dark and edgy and kept trying to kill/maim/torture her brother. She was my idol when I was little and is still my idol to this day. I don't even mind that she wear pigtails. Actually, that makes it better.

5. J.K. Rowling, umm hello she wrote Harry Potter and she had to write under J.K. so that boys would buy her books. A female writer who doesn't suck? Yes Please.

4. Miranda Hobbs. When people talk about Sex and the City it's always Carrie this and Carrie that but guess what? Carrie was a hot mess with daddy issues and a massive amount of debt. Miranda on the other hand was a Harvard grad who was woman enough to marry a bartender and move to Brooklyn. She even rocked the red hair, that's way less boring than Carrie's blonde hair.

3. Blanche Devereaux. Before Sex and the City was the Golden Girls. I would put in the entire cast if I could however I only had one spot available and it goes to Blanche. She was a classy slut who wore amazing clothes and was a dick to everyone. Love ya Blanche. RIP Rue

2. Beyonce. Beyonce got Jay Z, JAY Z! to take her last name. If that isn't epic than I don't know what is. Not to mention girl can dance, and how good was her last album? so good.

1. Eve. Adam was boring so she picked the apple to spice things up a bit. We should all pay thanks everyday that Eve had bigger balls than her male counterpart. She was the original bitch.