Not a girl, not yet a...

So according to Gavin Mcinnes and his followers, for a boy to become a man he needs to 1. get beat up 2. beat someone up 3. break someone's heart 4. get your heart broken. I have to say I pretty much agree with this, mainly because if Gavin says it, it must be true. But it got me thinking, what about girls. How do we know when we are adults? I'm not completely sure on this one because I am about 5 years away from becoming a real person but this is my prediction. (Keep in mind, I could be completely off base here and the true key to growing up may very well be a baby, husband and a minivan. I guess I'll have write to Cosmo to find the true answer.)

5. Live alone. I know a lot of girls who live with their parents until Mr. Right comes along and then they move in with him and his shitty Ikea furniture. Right now I'm living with roommates and I love them to death, but at some point every girl has to pull a Carrie Bradshaw and live on their own. You learn how to use tools, how to pay your bills, and how to decorate. It's not like you took Home-Ec for nothing.

4. Go to a movie by yourself. Girls are slightly more worried about appearances than boys. That's why it's more important for us to do stuff alone. Travel, go out to eat, see a movie alone. When your alone you learn how to enjoy yourself without the help of others. I think that's called independence or something?

3. Move to a new city. It's my personal belief that when you're young, you should be uncomfortable and unsure pretty much all the time. If you're bored, nothing has changed in the last 5 years, and you are in your twenty's get on that and move to a new city. Shake it up a little bit, you're too young to be bored, and by the time you hit 35, your husband/high school boyfriend will probably be cheating on you while you're popping more Xanex than a SoCal housewife and that whole quiet desperation thing is totally played out.

2. Have a pet. Pet's are like cuter, temporary children. It gives you responsibility without too many consequences. If you kill a cat you can just go bury it in your backyard, but if you kill your baby you're pretty much screwed and looking at 25 to life.

1. Learn how to throw a punch. I have a friend who got assaulted while walking home one night. Like a real woman she beat the shit out of him with an umbrella until he scurried away with his tail between his legs and his balls on the ground. Not only did she get an excellent story out of it, now she knows that she can take care of herself and that she can take a punch without breaking down like a little bitch. That being said, I really hope no one punches me, it looks painful.