So we arrive and it is dope. It's a tiny, tiny little establishment with an awesome vibe. The wait is an hour and a half so Nikki and I settled in and order a bottle of wine, the cheapest wine on the list of course. Now usually I hate waiting, but if you want to do cool things you have to queue up like it's no biggie.
So we're sitting there, chatting away and getting buzzed on good cheap wine. Finally we are told we can eat at the bar. We sat up on there and ordered another bottle of wine.
It was super fun pretending to be cool and sophisticated. It literally was like playing dress up and going to your first grown up party. I was really getting into it and by getting into it, I mean getting buzzed and pretending even harder that I belonged there.
Finally, we are reading the menu and at first it looks reasonable. 3 pounds for a starter 7 pounds for a main. Not too shabby, EXCEPT since it's a trendy place the food is just bite size and you are expected to order 3-4 starters and 3-4 mains. Suddenly, reality hits and we remember that we are poor twenty-somethings and order a total of 4 things. Like most poor people, we chose potatoes and bread in the hope that it would be enough to fill us up. Just like Russian peasants.
The food arrives and it is so good, duck ragu, calamari on spinach, walnut bruchetta with grapes and goat cheese on bread, but literally it's enough for a small mouse. I think we ate it in about 5 minutes despite our best efforts to make it last in order to trick our stomachs into thinking that we were full. After a spoonful of desert and a shot of tequila, always a smart move, the bill arrives.....90 quid!
90 fucking quid, oh my god, I could have gone on a shopping spree at Topshop for that. Anyway the moral of the story is if you're being cool or pretending to be a baller go to soho, if you're hungry go to McDonalds.
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