I actually consider myself to be quite the TV snob. If you watch the Bachelor or DWTS, I immediately write you off as being a loser. Trash television is an art, and like with any art, it requires some creativity, and there is just nothing creative about American Idol. So what are the best shows on Television?
10. 17, no wait 18? kids and counting- This show is legend. The episode when they go to the creationism museum is excellent. This show has everything a girl could ask for: mullets, crazy religious beliefs, a litter of children, and the interviewers sarcasm. They color code their children and they don't have computers to protect their children from the dangers of porn.
9. Hoarders- The first time I watched Hoarders it was like love at first sight. I became completely obsessed. The grosser the better, like the ones who turn an entire room into a toilet, SCORE!
8. Toddlers in Tiaras- My flatmate actually hates when I watch this show. I get it, I know it's gross and that it's creepy. I get that the parents are horrible and that the little girls will all end up with eating disorders and/or prozac addictions. Or maybe even another Jean-Bennet. That may be disturbing to some, but to any TV snob, it's TV gold. And remember: Sprinkle kisses win crowns.
7. Jersey Shore- This show makes me feel nostalgic for college. I love guidos, binge drinking, long island accents, and J-wowws very fake boobs. Ed. note: You're a lesbian if you don't have a crush on Vinny.
6. Keeping up with the Kardashians- This show is horrible and Kim is only famous for being peed on by Brandy's younger brother, but I've never turned down a chance to catch up with Kim, Kourt, Klohe and their crazy antics.
5. Animal Hoarders- Like I said, I love hoarders, it is such a good show, but sometimes it's just not gross and disturbing enough. I mean "organized hoarders?" YAWWWWN. That's why I love animal hoarders. Janice lives in a trailer and has 97 dogs? Count me in....ooh Allison has 16 cats and isn't sure why she's single? Even better. One woman had her children taken away, but she didn't care because she still had Fido and his 67 siblings. You have to be crazy to be a hoarder, you have to be bat-shit crazy to be an animal hoarder.
4. Intervention- This show is great because it wins awards and sometimes people pretend it is not absolute trash. I mean, taking advantage of people with fatal addictions for broadcast gain? That's my cup of tea. My personal favorites are the meth heads and those with eating disorders. Pill heads are boring because they just lay on the couch throughout the entire episode. Alcoholics are pretty decent too. And to think, they all started out as smiling, kind, babies.
3. Married to Rock- This show is relatively new so I'm not completely sure how I feel about it, but it did make me jealous of those with big fake hair and fake boobs, they both cover a multitude of sins. It also made me realize that I should probably act a little dumber next time I go to a rock show. Maybe he'll see me in the crowd, have one of his assistants to invite me back, fall in love, marry me, then I can be on TV too. What's a little VD in the name of Rock N' Roll.
2. Kell on Earth- Kelly Cutrone is my idol, which means her show is basically my religious scripture. If you have to cry go outside, wear all black, make millions of dollars, and never wash your hair.
1. The Real Housewives series. I only watch the Orange County, New York, New Jersey, and Beverly Hills ones, but they are all so good. Last week, on the season finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we found out that Kim is an alcoholic!!! This literally blew my mind and I stayed up all night thinking about it. I knew she looked a little shakey. It would be even better if they combined it with Intervention. Waiting for the reunion special is like waiting for Christmas.
No comments:
Post a Comment